Abnegation

nothing

abnegation — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 00:23:55 +0000

eye miss us
what we have
what we had
eye want you safe
eye want you home
and eye will find a way to be
a better man for our family

Filed under: poetry

eye wonder

abnegation — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 03:44:38 +0000

is this
what it feels like
when god turns his back on you
eye wonder how
talking was all eye needed
or
why now
since we don’t anymore
eye feel so foolish
so hollow
so silly that my picturing you
holding a picture of me in D28
isle 12
was ever enough,
the same way
eye couldn’t see
what everyone else did
in
anyone else, eye wonder
if eye confess…
will your answer even
change
anything
eye
wonder what happens when
love goes mute,
won’t answer, won’t
call your name like it used to
eye wonder the point of
demarcation
when you don’t pursue, when
eye don’t want to masturbate
fantasizing
about you anymore
the dining dead,
what did you say?
netflix is the only way we
communicate anymore….
girl,
eye
wonder
how eye show you my desire, how
much MorE eyem sure…
no
I
am
sure
God made no mistakes with us,
that eye want this more
than eye did before you gave me a chance
in
spite of the sun rising and
telephones ringing and
work and
babies crying, no
matter how it might seem
in weaker moments, honey
it’s consistent, you
are still my
Perfect
picture
of what love should look like, and
eye don’t wonder that
for even
an
instant

Filed under: poetry, scrap, sex, thoughts

dynastic cycle

abnegation — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 07:43:36 +0000

its never safe for us
everything we made 2gether was
either outrage or indecency
the foolishness
eye can fit between the couch
and the dining room table…
the years she ignored an entire message
for want of a narrower view
the abyss
the beauty and perfection of her face
we manufactured this balance of chaos
and order–
eye still unravel @ the thought of her
nights eye lost sleep
an empty bed
cold
she and eye filled
respectively
with so many things
lost between
us
we
deserve better than mockery
it should be grand
it should…
she
deserves 2 tell her children
our empire expanded
feral
relentless
until it needed more energy 2 sustain itself
than either of us could generate
or the heavens
so jealous our holding place
released the same ancient misfortune
that left the Colosseum in ruins
the eleventh hour
that stopped Alexander
the great
truth
is much less poetic…
we circled heroically
through magic
amnesty
and stupid

Posted in poetry, scrap, thoughts, Uncategorized Tagged: stupid

nu new

abnegation — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 08:55:24 +0000

new 2 me
this is…
nu, even
seven feet away
weakly attractive, but
voluptuous
nearly licentious.
cheap perfume fills the car
the scent lingering
and focused
reason
abandoned
humanity bound in burgundy stockings
contracting in2 this little old box
golden
and marvelously tarnished and
broken

inside it still
there remains yet something of
honor
and pride and life, she
crosses her legs
fidgeting
uncomfortable, but getting closer
hemline menacing, those movements
an almost unleashed fury
in a burst of salmon and
everything
under its blanket is untold newness…
and reminds me of you
here
of what it could have meant
something threatening 2 break
through the surface on my way 2 visit, eyem
pleased
that again eye write, Pleased
you come 2 my page 2 spend your borrowed
or your stolen time
and two feet away
my mind, sordid, my
hands uncorrupt her dishonor,
and eye commit my tongue
2 her new working order

Posted in poetry, scrap, sex, thoughts

valley road

abnegation — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 04:45:37 +0000

unknown 2 me
exposed brick and wood floors
high ceilings
somewhere in the distance
a train
wailing like a banshee–
curses
soft words from the corner of her mouth
bloodpride and insecurity, eye was
so much in the watching of her
my senses merge
drowisly eye
cant make sense enough of anything
withdrew
from her reserve of patience
until there was nothing left but a thin
layer of generosity
until eye was a prisioner
of my own opinion….
instead of learning how 2 kill time
without injuring eternity, we
always promised 2 pay
2morrow
while we slowly died 2day

Posted in poetry, scrap, thoughts, Uncategorized

in my youth

abnegation — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:22:44 +0000

there was innocence
old fashioned ideas
simple inexpensive dinners
eye thought were fancy
the company
and the trouble eye kept
trying 2 stay in front
of the next well traveled place
the deep, celestial connection
eye had with everything
and the women!
it was one woman actually
in my early experiences with her
the heavy
passionate kissing sessions
leading up 2 nothing
no foreseeable climax
just exploratory,
just touching her
and then the glint
the first recognition
of knowingly caressing her loveliness…
the discovery that
she was habit forming
the glorious
soft mounds of swelling flesh
beneath her clavicle
the indefatigable ache
of my hands 2 touch them her
the emotions eye felt!
that is
before my lower extremities
took control of me
that day in my youth
eye accepted
pale red as my favorite color
and worshiped it in secret
away from the condemning
opinions of my father, and the
constant redirections of my mother
in my youth eye had no need for spectators,
or speculations
just her name in my mouth
and my blood giving her praise

Posted in poetry, scrap, sex, thoughts Tagged: confessions, desire, experiences, infatuation, lockdown, longing, soft, virginity, writing

thick, pendulous

abnegation — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 06:03:45 +0000

thick, pendulous agony of night
grace and wonder
fever
delicious
passion
lips kissing naked souls
smooth wave of joy
the frantic urge
the slide between her
where every shudder bottoms
no more
drink and feel how skin
spread sweat and come 2 breast
and face why luscious tongue are
full in bite 2 much for some
behind feather glisten
where heavy pleasure aches

Posted in poetry, scrap, thoughts Tagged: fragment

seven

abnegation — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:52:59 +0000

seven long weeks
and not one word 2 give her comfort
standing in the shadows
waiting on the want 2 pluck her silver chord
under the moist star
compose some new derangement,
play her out of compassion
if not out of love
from distress and gentle charm
around a heart of torment, but
seven long weeks–
and still my perfect moment hasnt come
the song is on my lips
a soft press of electricity
this spell
2 make me feel like eyem going 2 live
forever
and seven
long
weeks eyeve just been swallowing it
just beyond my fingers
my control
eye wont keep her a hostage of occasion
eye cant lie another night
without setting her free…
without releasing the emptiness in these pages

Posted in poetry, scrap, thoughts, Uncategorized Tagged: blues

phoenix

abnegation — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 07:39:26 +0000

everything was @ stake
she was earth and sky
eye was intoxicated and neither
god nor man could touch me
more than the expressiveness,
the swoon of weakness she causes
the valves of my mind
opening and closing
laying waste 2 all
the emptiness eye feel inside, and
when eye needed her
a night when the dark water
threatened 2 take me over
she
rose from the ashes
this temptress
lovely and soft, we
kissed
her
hands undressed me
zipper
cufflinks
button by button
the salmon of dusk our blanket
my palm, pressed
firm below her navel
she pulled her knees up and
her body blushed
crimson
my splendor
her finish on our
bed of overspilled love

Posted in poetry, scrap, sex, thoughts Tagged: infatuation, longing, lovers, rising, tryst, writing

pele

abnegation — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 06:18:30 +0000

eye still had 2 try
even though eyeve accepted
the small part of my eternity
that applies 2 your position
been
careful not 2 stretch the seams
for the good it may do
2 him whom it fits, but
eye was wounded…
knew eye was so occupied
that finer fruits lived unplucked, and
maybe that wasnt reality for you
maybe your pieces werent falling
like rogue beads from a broken string
or maybe
the song you heard of me wasnt sour
like the one
eye heard someone singing of you

Posted in poetry, scrap, thoughts, Uncategorized Tagged: fragment